Triathlon is often a selfish sport. You sacrafice time with friends and family to go out on long rides and runs on the weekend. You retire to bed early to wake up for those 5am workouts. You dedicate a year to an event that’s over in a day. And in the end, all you get is a medal and a shirt. Through all of this, it’s very easy to forget about others and to thank them for their help and support along the way. So, to make up for the past several years, here’s a long over due list of Thank You’s. Enjoy.
Dear Driver in the Yellow Hummer,
Thank you for speeding and your erratic driving. Your inability to drive has improved both my speed and agility while running.
Dear Charmin Ultra,
Thank you for your ultra soft, yet ultra durable toilet paper. It’s perfect after a nutrition experiment gone wrong.
Dear Girl in the Pink Bathing Suit,
Thank you for your presence. You keep me motivated to swim even on the roughest of days.
Dear Harford Scholarship Fund,
Thank you for granting me scholarships. I secretly use them to finance my obsession with triathlon rather than financing school. I guess that makes you my number one sponsor.
Dear Harford County,
Thank you for not providing bike lanes and shoulders. Dodging speeding cars has improved both my power out put and my bike handling skills.
Dear AC Group Fitness,
While I have yet to develop big muscles or a six-pack, I have developed quite the exercise play list. Thank you.
Dear Nursing School,
Thank you for your ungodly amount of unnecessary busy work. It has prevented me from both injury and overtraining this past year.
Dear Resident on Eagleview Drive,
Thank you for finally installing a fence around your yard. Your dog scared the shit out of me every day.
Dear Masters Swim Team,
Thank you for unknowlingly providing me with free swim workouts for the past two years.
Dear Felt Bicycles,
Thank you providing a bike fit for males under 5’6. It saves me the embarrassment of a bike fit on a womans frame.
Thank you for your illegal uploads of triathlon videos. They keep me motivated and make the trainer a little less miserable.
Dear WaWa Coffee,
Thank you for keeping me awake during my 5am work shift. Without you, I would definitely be fired by now.
Dear Racing Fees,
Thank you for being so ridiculously high. The lack of money in my back account has truly taught me the value of a dollar.
Dear Me, Myself, and I,
Thank you for having no shame in talking to myself in public, so I’m never lonely while training.